**WARNING - RANT AHEAD**
My husband doesn't understand my weight issue. To him, it's all logical. If you have an issue with your health or weight, you simply take steps to correct the problem. You exercise more and you eat less. We've got into numerous arguments over this because I'm an emotional eater and it's hard for me to control myself. He just doesn't understand. In fact, this is basically the only thing we ever argue about because I'm consistently trying to lose weight and I never succeed. Being fat isn't the root cause of our problem, its the fact that he wants me to be healthy for our children.
So...I decided last night that I really wanted some rice krispy treats. So I made some and then had about 1/6 of the pan after they were made. I love ok? And this morning I had some with my breakfast. so now there's about 1/3 of the pan left and apparently he hasn't eaten any. My Dad is staying with us so I think he had some too.
Anyway...husband comes home from work tonight and the first thing he does is point out how much of the rice krispies are eaten. He doesn't do these things to make me upset...he just wants to point out to me that I'm not eating in moderation. Now I feel guilty. I've lost the initial surge of steam I had when I first started really digging in. And now I feel like crap again because I've let myself down again, including my husband.
Why is this so hard to do? Why can't I just STOP snacking all day at work? Why do I want to eat treats all of the time and why do I somehow justify to myself that it's just a simple treat? Basically, I justify a treat for myself every freaking day!
My Dad and I went out for dinner and while I did have a salad, we stopped at an ice cream shop and got some ice cream to go. Actually, I got non-fat frozen yogurt, plain with just some almonds and chocolate in it. But once my husband came home and we had this discussion, I didn't feel like eating my frozen yogurt anymore.
I'm always feeling like a failure because I don't have the self-control or self-discipline that he does. He expects me to act the exact same way he does. He is literally like Spock from Star Trek - NO JOKE. Everything is approached very logically in his world. There is no room for emotion. I just don't see how I can function that way. But apparently I must try somehow.
While I personally feel that I've improved my health tremendously by eating better and exercising more....it's not enough for him unless I'm losing weight. Right now, I'm not motivated to be healthier, because I KNOW I am healthy (I recently had a physical completed at my doctor's office)....I'm just fat....the only thing motivating me is not disappointing my husband by failing at losing weight again.
It's kind of jacked up and it shouldn't be my motivation to lose weight....but it is.
I'm in emotional turmoil over this....and I can't eat anything to make me feel better!
I have a similar problem in a kind of opposite way. I have always needed to lose weight. I will get very motivated and have no problem going to the gym regularly and eating super healthfully. But then my husband is sad when I won't eat what he's eating, and we argue because he wants to eat "fun things," and he doesn't think I need to lose weight. This always ends with me caving in and losing motivation. Why can't husbands just let us do things our own way?
ReplyDeleteYeah that's interesting. Your problem is very opposite of me right now. My husband wasn't always this way though. He's only recently being paying attention to his diet. He is 6'4" and weighs maybe 180. He has never had a weight issue. He used to eat whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted and never gained anything. It was only about a month ago that he realized that his diet was impacting his health. He just wasn't feeling healthy and he did some research and realized that he is most likely predisposed to diabetes and he was feeling like he was becoming pre-diabetic. Once he realized this problem, it was easy for him to do a complete 180 and change his eating habits. To him, it was easy to do. He knew there was a problem and then he corrected it. He doesn't understand how I can't do the same.
ReplyDeleteI feel for you because I used to be in your position. I'd cave whenever he'd have the unhealthy stuff and it would take my off course. Now, he's completely rigid on the right course and he won't ever left me off of it...even if I've accounted and planned for the side track (if that makes sense).
You're right though...they just need to let us do our own things and not make us feel guilty either way!
Thanks for your comment!