30 Day Shred

Have you heard of this DVD?

I've had it for about 2 years now and have only attempted the workouts in it a few times. They always kick my ass.

Today I was feeling pretty shitty about my behavior with food this....this morning at work I downed 3 cups worth of Cretor's Chicago Mix popcorn. That stuff hurts my mouth yet I eat it like I'm a crack addict.

Essentially, I came home early today to have lunch and this has been my day so far:

My day started out OK and then I hit that popcorn pretty hard. I came home and had a spinach and cheese omelette followed by 2 100 calories desserts while I watched the Real Housewives of OC.

Seriously?!?! I'm almost at 1300 calories just between breakfast and lunch! WTF is wrong with this picture?!?

So I tried to take a nap but couldn't fall asleep cause I felt like an idiot about making NO PROGRESS this week. I got up and attempted the 30 Day Shred.

Let's just say....it wasn't pretty. I only was able to complete about 10 minutes of the 20 minute workout. After I got done with first half of the second sculpting session I was done. The jumping jacks and the pushups just kill me!

I really keep having this internal struggle. On one hand I hear, stick with a calorie limit and let it be that every day. On the other hand I hear, eat back the calories you work off during your workout. If I stick with my 1350 calorie goal I worry that I'm not eating enough and sabotaging my progress.

I have a good friend at work who recently lost 40 lbs told me that he did it by working out every day for no more than 45 minutes and stuck with a 2,000 calorie daily limit (he's a guy so he can have higher). So I'm tempted to up my calorie limit to maybe 1,500 and try to get in my workouts every day. I just need to be more diligent about making them a priority. Here it is, already halfway through June and I don't feel like I've made much progress on my goal to run the full circuit around my neighborhood by the end of summer.

I really have to nail this quote into my head - from Mama Laughlin (whom I LOVE reading every day)

"If it’s important you’ll find a way, if not you’ll find an excuse."

This is so true! I'm in!!!

Shameless Promotion

I have NO clue how many people read this blog....but I figured I might as well let you know about my Etsy shop! I've always made felt brooches but I recently started selling my 4th of July yarn wreaths!!

Take a peak at my store and buy something from me if you're so inclined! Thanks!

http://www.etsy.com/shop/Rudolf168

Measurements

I promised I would post my updated measurements didn't I?

Well here's the data:

I decided to make a nifty new chart to keep track of my progress.

As you can see...In a little under a month...more like 3 weeks, I've lost 5 lbs and 3 inches. I'm glad there's progress but I'm also disappointed because I know the progress could have been more if I had been 100% focused the entire time.

Anyway...I'm still happy about this. I did get in my morning run and LOVED it! I was able to run really well without much pain. I didn't improve my time much. I still did the 1.5 mile loop in 25 minutes but I'm still working on it.

I had my usual breakfast of a protein shake and 1/2 a grapefruit. I'm meeting a friend for lunch and a movie today so I've already got it all planned out to eat at Zupas.

I love the weekends because I rarely feel the need to snack and it's so much easier for me to stay on track!

Not Bad

So I stuck to my plan VERY well today if I must say so myself.

I ate my Skinny Cow clusters rather early...about 1/2 hour after lunch. So I basically left myself with nothing to eat from 1 pm until 5 pm....around 3 pm I just HAD to eat something so I found a Wonderslim Chocolate Coconut snack bar and had that. It was good.

When I got home I took a little 20 minute cap nap and woke up to do some painting on our porch. Around 6 pm I came in and had some dinner - Lean Cuisine pita and spinach dip. I knew I had to eat rather light for dinner but having that along with some more rice and bean chips really was enough.

BUT....that frozen yogurt I bought last night and never ate was just calling my name. I had to get it out of the way and eat it. So I did. I couldn't find the exact calorie total from Sub Zero but I found something that seemed equivalent.

Anyway...I finished eating and then completed the painting outside. At about 8:20 I took the dog for a 45-minute walk around the neighborhood. I think the circuit I walk is about 2.75 miles or so. It was a good walk. When I got home I was just CRAVING something fruity...like I needed some fruit juice or citrus...I settled for a Cutie and called it a night. We'll see if I make any progress on the scale in the morning....BTW...I will be running first thing when I get up tomorrow. It's supposed to be in the 70s in the AM and then a cold front pushes through and we'll hit the 40s by afternoon. Gotta love Utah weather!

Re-Committed

Alright...last night really brought the fire to my doorstep again. Thank goodness! I needed a damn kick in the pants!

Today I have all sorts of determination/motivation to eat right again and not slip up!

So I've basically planned my entire day - except for dinner.

Here's what we've got goin on:

For breakfast I had a 100 calorie Wonderslim protein shake. I LOVE these things because they're packed with protein, they taste awesome AND they're only 100 calories. I also had 1/2 a grapefruit along with my daily vitamins (Super B-complex, Fish Oil and my Prenatal - I am trying to get preggo afterall).

For lunch I plan to have a small spinach and tuna salad with a few fun things tossed in (almonds, sunflower seeds, grape tomatoes, snap peas, and feta) and my usual carb master yogurt with some wheat germ for texture.

If I happen to need a morning snack I'll have my Boulder Canyon rice and bean chips (only 120 calories) along with an avocado. I may only eat half of the avocado though - we'll see.

And if I'm needing some dessert after lunch (my biggest problem is always needing some kind of dessert) - I'll have a Skinny Cow clusters pack:

And for good measure, I took a snapshot of myself this morning after I got ready for work. I REALLY want to be able to post some before and after pictures of myself so documenting the "before" stuff really needs to happen :P

I'm promising myself to take my dang measurements tomorrow morning after my run. Even if I haven't made any progress in the weight loss arena, I'm hoping I've made progress in the inches-lost arena!

Super helpful website!

Thinspiration Pictures

This website has been instrumental in getting me my mojo back to keep going for my goal.

I don't care for the model type pictures. I actually like the before and after pictures, especially of the heavier girls who've lost over 50 lbs because that's what I need to do.

I'm hoping one day I'll have a before and after picture that is similar.

This girl here actually has a very similar body to mine...amazing!

Mad at Myself Again

**WARNING - RANT AHEAD**

My husband doesn't understand my weight issue. To him, it's all logical. If you have an issue with your health or weight, you simply take steps to correct the problem. You exercise more and you eat less. We've got into numerous arguments over this because I'm an emotional eater and it's hard for me to control myself. He just doesn't understand. In fact, this is basically the only thing we ever argue about because I'm consistently trying to lose weight and I never succeed. Being fat isn't the root cause of our problem, its the fact that he wants me to be healthy for our children.

So...I decided last night that I really wanted some rice krispy treats. So I made some and then had about 1/6 of the pan after they were made. I love ok? And this morning I had some with my breakfast. so now there's about 1/3 of the pan left and apparently he hasn't eaten any. My Dad is staying with us so I think he had some too.

Anyway...husband comes home from work tonight and the first thing he does is point out how much of the rice krispies are eaten. He doesn't do these things to make me upset...he just wants to point out to me that I'm not eating in moderation. Now I feel guilty. I've lost the initial surge of steam I had when I first started really digging in. And now I feel like crap again because I've let myself down again, including my husband.

Why is this so hard to do? Why can't I just STOP snacking all day at work? Why do I want to eat treats all of the time and why do I somehow justify to myself that it's just a simple treat? Basically, I justify a treat for myself every freaking day!

My Dad and I went out for dinner and while I did have a salad, we stopped at an ice cream shop and got some ice cream to go. Actually, I got non-fat frozen yogurt, plain with just some almonds and chocolate in it. But once my husband came home and we had this discussion, I didn't feel like eating my frozen yogurt anymore.

I'm always feeling like a failure because I don't have the self-control or self-discipline that he does. He expects me to act the exact same way he does. He is literally like Spock from Star Trek - NO JOKE. Everything is approached very logically in his world. There is no room for emotion. I just don't see how I can function that way. But apparently I must try somehow.

While I personally feel that I've improved my health tremendously by eating better and exercising more....it's not enough for him unless I'm losing weight. Right now, I'm not motivated to be healthier, because I KNOW I am healthy (I recently had a physical completed at my doctor's office)....I'm just fat....the only thing motivating me is not disappointing my husband by failing at losing weight again.

It's kind of jacked up and it shouldn't be my motivation to lose weight....but it is.

I'm in emotional turmoil over this....and I can't eat anything to make me feel better!

Lost Momentum?

So I've lost some of my zeal to post my progress. How did that happen?

Let's see....last week was difficult schedule-wise. It was my "lady time" for the month and we had a Real Salt Lake soccer game to attend and I had to help with a friend's birthday surprise for two nights in a row. This meant I didn't exercise much last week AND I didn't keep up with tracking my food so much.

Fast forward to the weekend and my Dad arrived from Phoenix. He moved in with us. I won't post all of the details but I will need some time to adjust.

I did go for a run on Sunday evening - it was GREAT! I didn't hurt and I went farther when I ran than normal. Last night I took a leisurely stroll with my Dad and dog...Dad can't go very fast or far so my walk wasn't that effective.  Tonight I did The Firm Express Workout for about 25 minutes.

I'm going to vow to record ALL of my food again for the rest of the week AND log all of my exercise. I also need to post some measurement progress as well as fat picture progress...so I'll try and do that throughout this week.

I NEED TO REFOCUS. IT'S HARD. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH